day of angst

Bear with my whining for this post. I am just in angst.
This morning i was woken up at around 5am in the morning by my brother's loud voice. His talking on the phone. Who the hell talks on the phone at 5am in the morning!??!! ok if ppl like that exist, at least try to talk in a softer voice. The dead of dawn just amplifies any single sound. His voice is like how he normally talks on the phone, loud, loud and loud. Add to his sickening habit of walking around the house when his on the phone, and u get the drift. And his walking stance is not those quiet type, he has a bad habit/way of walking which involves his feet slapping flat on the floor. Pleah pleah pleah!!! KNN..

He must be up all nite playing computer games again.. i got back to sleep. Woke up at 6.30, walked to the kitchen, saw the leftover wrapper of my favourite nasi lemak!!! KNN again. He bought breakfast!!! His OWN breakfast!!!! doesn't his brain comprehend that i too need to eat breakfast? I mean, since he bought, is it too difficult or expensive to buy a packet more? nowadays, I bought most of breakfast on weekends, and i had always include his share every time, which consist of 2 packets for him and now he actually forgotten about me and my goodwill. Well, i shall still buy his share this weekend, but i;ll just buy him 1 packet now, since the carbo is goin to be turned into fats in him anyway cos he dun exercise and dun need much energy getting around in the house all day playing computer games.....

Oh and did i mention his room recently has been emitting a stench of sort. I dunno what the hell it came from but it gives me a headache just smelling it in my room. His fucking stinking up my house, MY HOUSE! i asked him what the hell the smell came from and he has no idea. It;s amazing he can hole himself in that room and bear with the stench! My theory is, his brain is so small, that since he plays games so much, the brain automatically shuts down certain functions of the human to maximise the efforts needed for other functions that were needed. So obviously, he dun need his sense of smell to play games. There u have it!!!! I think his lack of a social life outside the house is probably due to the mass(or lack) of his grey matter too. I am sure his brain could not cope with his life of studies, games and activities that are out of the house, so the stupid brain automatically picks out what;s best for him and decided to stay home since goin outside will be an information overload for his senses and thoughts.

talk about studies, yah his like 26 already and still have not done a decent job in his life... Amazing... well i can blame it on the 2 years national service or i could come out with a theory that having to continue studies, gives him more time to be at home playing his games. I think i'll go with the latter. No one will have so much time to do that if they have a working life. Oh now his busy typing away on his computer with a ceiling lamp which has gone totally haywire and faulty. He seems not perturbed by the blinking light. He has attained enlightenment already.

His lucky to be pursuing a degree which i dun think i have the luxury to do that last time. I guess it must be hard on a mum who has to support 2 sons thru their studies, and if i were to continue my studies, i am sure it;s goin to be hard on her. I am also sure that she will be able to pull that off, but i decided i'll just work first. I started working 3 days after i finish my national service mind u!!! Luckily i took this path, cos due to circumstances, i have to pay for current house, which i think if i continued with studies, my CPF wouldn;t be enough to pay for the loan at all. I have no idea that my brother will pursue his degree, cos his not the academic sorts. Probably the idea was fed into his pea brain from my uncle whom his quite close to. Well-to-do uncle. Both his children are in uni, being due to the fact that the children do not see the need to work so early in life. double-income family, 2 cars, condo, who the hell wants to work? everyone says the best time in life is spent in schools.

Oh and i could have had another life, if not for the housing loan. it;s one of the main factor that makes me stop the thought of goin overseas to work every time. My friend asked me to join him doin design in bangkok. i could take a pay cut and live an OK life there, if not for the loan. he could easily hired 5 designers to do my job if i go there. Why the hell did the gabermen come out with such high cost of houses in singapore? I wonder if their maths additional is correct or not. Doesn;t the cheap labour they hired helped bring the cost down? I think it;s just conspiracy cos selling houses at cost price(HDB, houses built by the gabermen for the people) will cheapen the market value of all properties in pragmatic singapore. Sick of the idea of never being rich enough but never too poor to survive.

Oh and my company is goin public and also up for acquisition by any interested parties soon. Which probably could mean my rice bowl is in danger. Am sure there will be a major reshuffle in the company once another company bought it over, and who knows, they do not need product designers at that time.. Good la, save me the trouble of writing resignation letter. haha...

Fucking packed MRT. Imagine standing from buona vista to simei. Some hairy person just have to use his hands to hold onto something, even though it's just his palm resting on the door. I have to stare and smell the hairy arms which is like so close to my face!. Not much ppl have hairy and smelly arms, so u know what kind of monkeys i am talking about now. His like placing his left arm on the door and his right arm on the ceiling(door area) of the train. If u take MRT regularly, i am sure u can balance yourself without holding onto anything and i am 100% sure he takes MRT regularly. They can onli be lawyers, doctors, IT(lucky ones) and the rest(fucking useless ones), crappy jobs.. hahahah. he looks like the latter. If he were to have an actual tail, he could be using that extra limps to grab onto the limps of another silly monkey(i am one of them) in the train.

So u have it, smelly hand, smelly brother;s room. That;s my day. PUI!