Off to Tokyo!!!!

This is it friends!!!!!!! Off to Tokyo tomorrow!!! I'll try to enjoy myself all of u, will try to take more pics also... Hello Japan, here comes the Tokyo virgin!!!!!

The Seeker : seek simi lan?

Had the chance to watch The Seeker : the dark is Rising over the weekends.. Verdict? Please save yourself the agony and time and do something more useful ok? It's like a rip-off of Lords of the Ring, but done in a sad sad bad bad way. Movie is set in a ugly english town where the stupid young boy (the seeker) can travel thru time to find some stupid signs(amulets) so as to prevent the bad guy(loser) from destroying earth. All the characters in this movie dun even come close to kissing/licking the ass of Frodo, Aragon and the dwarf, hahaha... If u compare this show to the worst installment of Harry Porter, Harry can easily kill the bad guys in the show. Add to that, cheesy dialogues and sub-standard effects, u got yourself a great blockbuster!!! Not even worth the $5 of a pirated DVD.

Stupid hero boy is in the lower center of the poster. Flanked beside him are actually 2 little characters of the show. Wondered why they ended up in the main poster.. Bad guy? on top of our stupid hero..

This bad guy, does he look menacing? Not at all.. His ugly, cant act and all black with a white horse.. Oh i think in this show, the bad guy is known as THE RIDER... how lame.... His favourite magic/spells? Lots of crows.. I am so overdosed with crows liao.. I think those crows in this show are recycled from resident Evil : Extinction. I mean, how scary are crows? they are birds... Actually i like crows, cos they are black and slick, and damn smart, too bad they have bad vocals.. haha..

Not to mention, our stupid boy was dressed up in this uber ugly lookin jacket in his final battle with the crowman.. Yawns... Why cant the costum designer give the boy more style? He already looked ugly, cant act and cant say his cheesy lines well, at least make him look cooler mah... Everything is just wrong in this show..

Hokkien acronyms and terms

Now a lesson on Hokkien acronyms and terms commonly used by me....

KNS - The shit of the olive fruit.

CB - chicken chop.

KNN - Fucking a girl called Nina.

KNNBCCB - This one is the ultimate! It means fuck Nina's mother's smelly chicken chop. If u dun like chicken chop, u can also use this to mean "fuck Nina's mother's smelly cunt" if you are a MILF lover.

PS - The act of putting down a piece of shit.

LS - The act of soft bowl movements which sometimes might result in a stream of murky liquid cruising down your ass crack to your inner thighs if u are not fast enough to remove your pants.

CB - Chio BU, a highly attractive female, not chee bye ok?

LC - lau chye - an term used to describe woman who are over the hills, but can be meant to describe an attractive one too. Also can mean low-class.

LCB - lau chio bu ok? not lau chee bye.

BS - not bull shit la.. BS is the name of a "damn happenin" dirty KTV in Geylang.

LSB - La Sump Bar.. Dirty bar??? who wants to go to a dirty bar?? It's a bar where u go and do hum sump thingssssssssssss...

Lan Chiau - Blue bird, a common species native to almost any part of the world that is populated by human.

Lam pa - The family jewels of the blue bird.

Banana Plantation - Lots of "bananas" packing and hanging round in a place, especially in pubs and dicsos.

Kor Gao Kan - Fucked by a dog.. Dun laugh.. obviously girls like to be fucked by dogs, judging from the "dog-make-love-to-woman" video clips i downloaded from the internet.. haha

Lim Pey - Used when u are talking to your boss or superior. Instead of "I", use "lim pey" to describe oneself. If you want added seniority to this term, use "Lim Lao Pey". It will bring a new level of respect from your peers.


Disclaimer : Anything said above are my own personal judgements and mockery of life. The above mentioned might or might not be true. Your own judgement is highly recommended to believe them or not. Use them at your own peril also. Thou shall not be liable for any mishaps or accidents that may occured thereafter.

My desk!

Just some random pics of my office desk.. Long and black rite? Very tidy rite? Of course i cleared up the mess before these pics are taken.. Where got designers' desk so tidy one? If tidy, confirmed wayang/twang/skived a lot...

my curry puffs!!!!!!!!!!!

I have something to confess.. my breakfast everyday is junk food!!! It;s either curry puffs one day, and nasi lemak the next day.. it's been goin on and on and on for the last few months.. I know it;s freakin unhealthy, but try staying in Simei, u will know u have limited choices.

Anyway, this morning, it was curry puffs' turn.. so i went to my friendly neighbourhood curry puff store to get them. Normally, i would get 3(not big ones la), but today, the macik told me now it's 3 for $1.50, not 3 for $1.20 like yesterday.. I was like "WTF" in my mind. U help me calculate, from 40 cents each to 50 cents each, how many percent increase???!!! I was stunned and tell her i want 2.. haha.. No money leh!! After Hari raya, price will increase one meh??? U guys sure say, not happy dun buy from them lor. But the other shop that sells curry puffs, CMI(cannot make it) lah!!! Oh, there's also Old Chang Kee, but Mr. Old Chang Kee also ripping ppl off with them curry puffs, more expensive and i dun indulge myself with curry puffs stuffed with chicken and eggs.. I is simple guy.

Price always increase, how much do u think u can take it? Will there be a limit? See ah, cigarettes price have not been increasing these few month, i bet my $10 within next 3 months will increase price.. Gosh, i cant wait for duty free ciggies next week!!! I'll be off to Tokyo to ogle the car show models... I'll try to squat lower when taking pics of them so that i can show u what colour is their underwear.. hahaha.. Or maybe i should take pictures of those dirty old men squatting on the floor trying to take pictures of those girls showing them the colour of their underwear.. :) it'll be fun!!!

Lim Chiu.. yam seng.. bottoms up

And so ended my 3 days of drinking. From Thursday till Saturday, i was drinking in some place or another.. Thursday was drinking at winebar.. Place was like a ghost town, even though there's supposed to be a fashion week event. No eye candies, no need to be fashion police.. haha.. It;s great to be hanging out with kakis and not some ppl that i hardly know (will get to that later).

Friday was drinking session was at Cicada at portsdown road. Dun attempt to go there if there;s no car. It;s ulu!!! anyway, not worth the trouble to get there by cab, cos that place is nothing great actually.

Oh, my favourite Hoegarden.. Simply cant resist ordering it in any place where i can find it. But, must be draft ones, bottled ones are crap.

Saturday's drinking session was at bellini room at st james powerhouse. OKOK, first time there!! virgin trip! KNN, the door bitch took a look at me and commented, 'hmmmm, u look a little too young." I retorted, "so tell me the minimum age inside.." She replied, "23".. I was like "u cant tell that i am above 23?" She still dun believe... so well, took out IC and she congratulated me, cos me and her same same, borned in the year of the dragon... I dunno if i should feel happy or be amazed that i was checked for my age...

Moet was cheap there. $69 per bottle. Think it;s some promotion thingy.. Place was not too bad, crowds are generally ok. Anyway, was hanging out with 2 friends, and friend's friends also. First time meeting those friend's friends.. KNN, ah nehs leh!!! nothing wrong with ah nehs, only that they are well known to binge on alchol! Anyway, it;s tiring to meet new friends. Exchanging pleasantries, asking about one another's occupation. And most of the time, ppl's reaction to my occupation is, "cool". I mean, what? is that all the replies these ppl can muster? Anyway, luckily, the attention wasn't on me la, They more interested in the pussies around..Kept ordering and drinking. Bystander (aka me) also asked to drink..Maybe they thinks that, pussies get drunk, pussies cannot control, pussies go to their homes, pussies get laid, ah nehs smoking post coital cigarettes beside pussies.. haha.. NOT

After bellini, headed to velvet/zouk/phuture. Whao liao, more ah nehs and more drinking!! Why did i ended up in this predicament!!!!

Was drinking all sorts of shit and the inevitable happened.. I puke while having supper.. haha.. I puke below my void deck, i puke in my toilet.. What did i drank last night?

5 glasses of moet champagne

1 tequila shot

1 B52

sips of Bellini (pussy drink)

yah not a lot, but enough to let me do the merlion.. !!! I is lousy drinker.

For your information

A Kleptomaniac is a person who cannot fight the impulse to steal, more for emotional disturbance rather than economic need.

i need a MUSE!

I have so nothing to blog about nowadays.. Did not come across anything interesting. I need a MUSE to inspire meeeee.

Malaysia's first astronaut.. malaysia boleh!!!!

Click and read the article before reading my comments..:)

Article said "he hopes to get closer to God when he ventures into space this week during the fasting month of Ramadan". But since when God resides in Outer Space? Is He an alien huh? No what.. Why spend so much money and time for Dr Sheikh Musaphar Shukor (name damn hard to spell) to feel closer to God when the truth is, God is in the heart of the believer. If your believe and faith are strong for Him, u will be closer to him. Duh, even i can answer this.

"Being a Muslim going into space is a big responsibility for me, not only to the Malaysian people but Muslims all over the world" Is he the first Muslim in space? I dunno. But seems like a buy-1-get-1-free publicity stunt to me. For Malaysia, for Muslim. Win win pr stunt? NOT!!

"He is taking along Malaysian food and Hari Raya biscuits for his fellow crew members" What is he bring? Maggi goreng? Tulang soup? Longtong? Can eat all these in space meh? Must be messy.. haha..

In the article, it also mentioned that technically, a Muslim have to pray 80 times in 24 hours because the spacecraft will circle the Earth 16 times a day. His reply was ,"i'm not sure how but i'll find a way to pray and fast." His supposed to conduct scientific experiments, included some on cancer cells!!!!!!!!! I think he'll just end up praying for a cure to cancer instead. Haha.. I foresee when he is back, his goin to tell his superior this:

Superior:So how was the trip?

Dr:Amazing!!! i felt closer to Him.

Superior:what about the results of the scientific experiments you are supposed to conduct?

Dr:No solid conclusion.

Superior:Do you think we can cure cancer?

Dr:No solid conclusion.

Superior:Do you think you benefited from this exposure?

Dr:Ermm, no solid conclusion.

Superior:So tell me what u had learnt from this trip then.

Dr:My Russian and American team-mates said Maggi Goreng sux big time!!!!

Run for your money!

Oh gosh, these 2 guys seriously give Borat a run for his money!!! hahaha... So which of the 3 do you think is the most sexy?

U depreciate!!!!

Got this email forwarded to me, thanks jamie. Think it;s posted in some forum thingy. Here it goes.

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful>(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around>200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I >get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:
-Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front>about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests.

THE ANSWER

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring>my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely >that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning >asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation >accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy >and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard tobelieve that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Well morale of the story is, girls, dun ask for too much, cos your value seriously depreciates every year, just like a car...

Pics by fujifilm z100fd

Just got this little camera and did some test shots... who else can model for me without complaining? Ariel of course...haha.. but i dun really like this camera, or in fact, all these ultra-slim (think kate moss) cameras... Really nothing much to set and adjust... All automated, and the quality of the pics aren't that great.. I still preferred the amount of control and pic quality of my trusted canon s70.. But his too PHAT to bring around all the time, that's why i bought the miss little Z100fd as a back-up...

female body tests

Learnt this at a coffee session with friends today...

Pencil Test : To test how firm or saggy the female boobies are. Place a pencil under the lower fold area of the breast of test subject. Let go of the pencil. If the pencil stays, that pair of boobies failed the pencil test. If the pencil drop, that means it;s a pair of firm boobies...

5 Cent count Test : Ask test subject to lie down with back facing up. Take a 5 cent count and throw at the butt of test subject. If 5 cent count landed on the butt with a "PIAK" sound and stays there, means butt is soft.. If 5 cent coin bounced off butt of test subject, means butt is firm.

Disclaimer :Please conduct above tests on your own accord. Thou shall not be responsible for any accident/damage/injuries caused to test subjects or the test conductors.

If any of u ladyzzzzzzz need help in the above tests, especially the 5 cent coin one, please feel free to approach me. I assure you that tests will be conducted in private with utmost professionalism and integrity. keke.. Anyway, if test subject really allow u to do all this to her, might as well just grab the mentioned body parts and use your hand to feel you if it;s firm or saggy.. DUH...

done my part, for now........

Guess it's back to the normal mundane life of work again.. Come to think of it, i really preferred this to the one i had 2 weeks ago... That life was utterly back-breaking.. I admit, i am getting old!! i dun remembered it was this tough digging trenches 2 years ago, but this time(last week), it was bad(understatement)...

Sometimes, due to the circumstances and environments, the sort of feelings and emotions felt will differ. Well, for example, i was lying on the mud, trying to catch a wink. In front on me was a sky full of stars.. I was feeling crappy of course, because i have to share the mud with hundreds of marauding ants, and mossies from hell. Then i was thinking to myself, if i were in some serene island, looking up at the same sky and stars as i am looking at now lying on the mud, would i feel crappy? Then i imagine, if some girl who is nice and pretty was beside me on the island looking at the stars with me, what would i say? I'll prolly said to her, "awww it's so romantic, look at all the beautiful stars, each one representing my most sincere, heartfelt love/care/concern for u. Can i F*&K U?". Hahahaha... after having this thought, i turned my face, and reality came back. Beside me were snoring old reservist soldiers, well one of them was still awake and out came this from my mouth "KNNBCCB, why are we doin this?" The rest of the night was spent swiping mossies away from my face and jumping up and down in the middle of the night cos some smart-assed ants decided to explore my body thinking it's food. I am not FOOD!!!!

Oh did i mentioned the weather is against me also.. Rain and shine was the norm. still remembered there was this heavy rain on the second morning. We were all taking shelter in the truck. Early downpour = minus 20% from morale... Sleeping on mud with ants and mossies the night earlier = minus 30% from morale.. Goin back to the trenches after the rain, seeing that the rainwater had flooded one of the trench to the neck level = minus 40% from morale. Seeing my full-pack(clean clothing and everything i need) floating on the trench, getting totally soaked by the water = priceless expression on my face followed by expletives comin out of my mouth.

Oh and did i mentioned i am stuck with a motley crew of ppl? There;s this fat chinese guy, who gets hyper tension easily. He had heat cramps right on the first 2 hours of digging. Poor guy. This funny guy, he just cant stand still, even for a short while. When there;s nothing to do, he will start to flap his arms(trying to circulate air flow) like a chicken. It was funny!!! haha.. saw him on 1 occasion, he was just sitting on the ground, and then took a tree branch, and start poking on the ground non-stop. In the end, he created a big hole, just because he cant keep still. heh... There;s this malay guy. His one of the most humorous guys around, but cos his fasting, turned himself into the most grouchy old hag i've ever seen. My trusted right-hand man, due to a slipped disc, was almost rendered useless in the digging. There are just too many things to write about the quirks of these ppl, imagine spending 24 hours each day for 4 days together getting all down and dirty on the field...

well i just have to end this entry here... :)